the summer of grade 7

yeah. well it is the summer now. wow i just realized how little i have written.
well ok i need to write this down to keep it off my mind. At morgans party, i talked to this one girl a little bit. We talked about who had a better life at the moment or something of the sort. She thought that it was me but i thought that in someways its me but in love its definetly her. then we did an experiment. this is the sad part.
we both sat down on the ground outside where people were hanging out. it was concrete mind you. we both sat beside each other on the ground.
M walked to us. He said "P, come on, get up from the ground. Then he said "please".
P shook her head, or said no, or something i cant remember.
Then, N walked over. You can probably guess what happened, but i want to tell you because you are a file on the internet that is helping me stay sane.
N said, "P, get up off the ground. Why are you sitting there? Let me help you up."
Then she got up. I sat there for another minute or so, thinking about how horrible my love life is.
I mean, i don't WANT to be like almost everyone else with their boyfriends and stuff, because they are very immature(which is fine because its only grade 7), but i just really need to be loved then someone other than my family and friends. Its like, really important to me. No one even NOTICED me on the ground there, except for my friend I. I'm not really mad at P for this at all, but i mean seriously, can't SOMEONE change the way love is distributed around here??? Well i guess not.
I have never had my first kiss, I have slow danced with ONE person(and that person danced with like all the girls in our class that came to the dance), i haven't gone out with anyone, i haven't gone on a date, and no one that i 'love' has told me they love me or even LIKE me in that way. i mean seriously, whats going on here??? im not mad at P or anything, and im not jealous of her. I guess im jealous that she is loved sooo much by others(guys in particular lol) and i, sadly am not. at all. but im not jealous of her. i really dont think that i will go out with anyone in eigth grade at all either. maybe even not ninth. why can't anyone every like me that i like back?

well at least i've got friends to lean on. its a pity that they arent in my school or even class. except one so far that ive heard of.